The Blog of Jasmine Sadler

For the record (FTR), The Jazz Kitchen is bomb!  Bashiri Asad and Xenobia Green performed.  It took me a minute, but Xenobia Green is the entire band.  They had a bomb alto sax player.  He kinda inspired me to just go to a saxophone concert.  He ended up battling with this young-buck on a tenor sax that didnt know how to freestyle :/ That’s like saying that you know how do dance, but can’t bust it out when you get served!  Guitar was giggin and drummer was hittin!

I think I know music pretty well and honestly, I wasn’t that impressed with the lead singer Bashiri… It was good to see the sets live, but his voice was a little to monotone for my taste.  I was telling my friend, that his voice definitely has a market for something, ie. waiting rooms, elevators, studying or a social mixer.  But when it comes to me listening to a cd or popping it in the car for a long drive, it’s not gonna happen.

As far as the food, I had the crab cakes last time I was there, delish, but of course never filling.  My friend had the bbq chicken pizza this time, good if that’s your thing.  I’m way too much a tomato sauce fan for that.  The brownie dessert is BOMB and enough to share with 4 people.  I got the White Chocolate Blueberry Bread Pudding this time.  #stayaway.  I kept crunching and getting little strawberry seeds in my teeth.  Who knows where those came from.  The outside was pretty firm and the inside wasn’t soft and delish.  Just stay away from it!

I really like music, mainly R&B/Soul vibe.  Favs are John Legend, Musiq Soulchild, Dwele, and can’t forget Jamie Foxx.  I guess I really like that culture kind of stuff.  I plan to go to the art museum around here, and the DIA when I’m at home.  I love plays and musicals, and love ballets and just dancing concerts (duh).  Challenge: Try to do 1 artsy-fartsy thing this month!

Everything is back right with the world!  I’m going to Charlotte this weekend to check out the scene and see if that’s a place I could actually see myself living.  I already know I should have been born a Cali girl, but I’m willing to compromise.  Corbin and I will be celebrating the 4th of July down there with his best friend and other friends.  I’ll tell the actual events that happened instead of what I plan to do.  <But I’m really excited for this trip to the beach!!>

Depression has concluded and everything is great again.  One factor was the relationship, which has been resolved!  As promised I did start reading The 5 Love Languages and boy o’ boy was it on point!  Before I did that, I took the online assessment to truly know what my language was [Words of Affirmation, Quality Time (close second)] and I had Corbin do the same [Quality Time].  I bought the book and a cheap journal so that I could keep notes on key quotes and definitions that may be helpful later.  Following that, I discussed a few key points with him.  We ended up having a great conversation on what I read.  It made us understand each other and our needs a lot better.  Our time on the phone (since long distance) is important to him, and our time together is exponentially more important.  The words that he says (or doesn’t say) are important to me and should be chosen carefully (especially in an argument).  Things seem so much clearer, but time will tell.

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Some of the notes were:

It is okay for a couple to have different native love languages, but as long as you know what your mate’s languages is and can speak it, things will be okay.

Different love languages require different needs.  When Christmas comes around, you can’t give a Words of Affirmation person the same gift that you would give a Receiving Gifts person.  RG may only want the biggest and best gift because that is how they value their worth and your relationship, while WoA may be okay with a card that has a hand-written letter.  Personally, I’m great with a hand-written letter (WoA) and a date at a restaurant or the movies (QT).

You have to fill up their love tank with their currency.  The same currency won’t work for everyone.  When both of your tanks are filled, things will be much easier and much happier.

There is a “Love Obsession” phase which all couples go through that is approximately 2 years.  During this time, everything is great and you are both floating on air.  This is the time when most people get engaged, or married, or move in together.  After that phase is over, you have to really start speaking the correct love language or one or both of your love tanks will be on E.  This is the time when most couples divorce!

{The other two languages are: Physical Touch-physical presence and accessibility, hugs, holding hands, etc.;  Acts of Service-ease the burden of responsibilities, cleaning the house, etc.}

I’ve been going on this like 7-day depression<–>euphoric cycle.  It has been awful.  I realized that Coke and other caffeinated drinks taste good, but make me crash like crazy.  It puts me in like a time warp where I am just dazed for a good 5 minute stretch.  That also happens during my 4 hour drives home, which is definitely not a good thing.  Also, I stopped taking my allergy pills because they make my patience quite thin thus making me quite mean to other people.

All that aside, I just haven’t been feeling the best.  My boyfriend and I keep going through crazy good<–>bad cycles and it would be great if we just went back to the constant good we had.  Being at work for 9 hours gets me a little bummed at different times.  There has also been some drama there (on more than one occasion) where people just don’t have the ability to have personal conversations with others.  If I’m doing something out of the ordinary, tell me, not others.   I’ve been feeling the need for a good cry, but just haven’t given myself the opportunity.  The up-swing of things happened when I just talked to my girls on the phone or hung out with them.  They make me laugh and they are very motivational to themselves and with me.

Something has got to change.  I plan to start reading a lot more!  I have to read one book for work.  My friend has referred The Five Love Languages.  I also plan to read my bible or have a good old-fashioned on the knee prayer time.  I think I might actually unplug my TV so I can just focus and think about me.  I’ll give updates, wish me luck!

Yesterday, after being referred to verysmartbrothas.com by Ashley (per usual) we read a blog by a guy that really loves the new Drake album.  Drake is known for his interesting one-liners like the following:

I can teach you how to speak my language. Rosetta Stone.

I got these new rappers nervous. Prom night.

Two thumbs up. Ebert & Roper.

Can you see me? Can you see me? Get your Visine on.

Storytellers. They ain’t even need a campfire.

I’m a star, no spangled banner.

They must be talking to themselves. Hands free.

I wrote it for your Girlfriends. Kelsey Grammar.

…You get the point!

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So Ashley and I just started talking like this in our everyday speech while chatting with each other on the internet.  Some of our top scorers were:

took me a minute. Rice

me too. Clipse.

not if you’re the Bizzness. Trump.

LMAO. white girl.

I gotta plug in my computer. Gary Coleman.

You lose. Lions.

Play with your friends!! Enjoy and comment me your bests. Drake

So, my Indy bff is leaving me today.  

I was introduced to Ashley through my line sister Monique.  I knew any friend of Mo’s was definitely good company.  I contacted Ash randomly on the phone before I even moved to Indy and she gave me the best advice she could considering that she had only been here about 6 months.  After I moved down, she invited me out with her co-workers to celebrate her birthday.  The first place we went really wasn’t for us so we went to another place nearby.  It was just me and her and she was really nice and I was glad she liked to dance and liked my type of music.

The rest has been history with endless fun!  Fun times were had at: Kountry Kitchen-which looks hood from the outside, but delish inside; Red Mango-fantastic frozen yogurt (fro-yo); Maxwell Concert-Fantab; Random trips to the mall; ASOS online shopping; Chicago Style stepping- in the name of love; being Doilies at church-inside joke; The Oceanaire-being fancy; and of course our infamous club downtown-name omitted for stalkers (jk, but for serious).

We’ve talked about everything together and it seems like we’ve known each other for years.  She has also introduced me to our other partner in crime, Cierra.  I know all of the great times will continue, until she leaves me in August .  I’m confident that both of them will be coming back to Indy and they will also be in driving distance.  I wish Ashley all the best in her graduate studies at University of Illinois.  Love you girl!

One of my old friends hasn’t really changed his life much at all.  In the past year, he has had 6 different jobs, is in a relationship that he doesn’t enjoy, and has continued to use “illegal substances” for years.  But this post is mainly about the mindset of inconsistency by having 6 different jobs in 1 year.  I also know another guy whose goal is to have 5 different sources of income.  I think that would be fine if those things were already set up and you just had money coming in, but when you actually have to spend your time working this worthless jobs, is it really the quantity or the quality that matters?  The jobs have varied from being a painter, to a photographer, to a party promoter, to a software salesman.

Along with these jobs, comes different environments and different personalities to best suit that environment (party promoter vs. software salesman).  All of their jobs have been the quickest way to get money at the time.  But they are all only good for that one shot and then you have to grind for they next smedium payoff.  After all that foolishness, you have no free-time for yourself and you are completely full of inconsistency.

How they both have girlfriends is beyond me because it seems like their girlfriend wouldn’t know which personality to love.  But, I believe that they attracted their ladies by being so diverse that eventually she would find one of his traits that she would really love.  Both guys are so confident in their appearance and feel that any woman would want them for what they one day will become.  A confident and goal-oriented man is attractive, but when you don’t believe them, it ruins your thoughts of them.  You can believe IN them and help them to get to their goals, but when you never quite believe THEM-that they will succeed because there is a lack of focus, that can cloud a lot of the relationship. 

Granted, I’ve tried out a lot of things in the past year: NFL cheerleader audition, online/phone recuriting, and working at a retail store while having a full-time job.  However, the recruiting was dropped when I did not see any benefits; my mindset was not on the money earned, but it was on the money saved by my employee discount, and meeting lots of people in the new city.  Having many jobs, many friends, many personalities is okay, you just have to understand your focus.  Make sure that it is for your interest and benefit and do not let the focus be the next best way to make a dollar.

I had a great time at home (as always).  Nowadays, I spend most of the time with my boyfriend because it’s long distance and I don’t get to see him as often as I would like.  Friday, I met his neice and nephew and they were sooo cute and loads of fun.  They kept me laughing and I was the new bff by the time we left.  My mom got me into dolls and Barbies so when I asked about his neice’s dolls she showed me a couple of Barbies, but no life-like babydolls.  I didn’t really even like Barbie’s because they were all grown and iIcouldn’t do anything with them but change their clothes and maybe comb their hair with the littlest comb ever.  Anyway, I’ve decided to get her one because they’re great, and she’s 5, done and done!

Saturday, Corbin and I went to Cedar Point and had a really fun time.  He wanted me to get on rides that I would have just passsed up and I had him do the same.  The biggest surprise was the Maverick.   It’s the newest roller coaster, so I had to ride it just to say I did.  It didn’t look like anything impressive: not too fast, not too high, but the line was super long.  Corbin and I wondered if everybody else was thinking the same thing.  But oh no, we got on that ride and it was the BEST one that I’ve been on and I have ridden EVERY roller coaster in the park.  I think the fact that it wasn’t the best at one thing made it great at a lot of things.  Dragster, Millenium Force, Mantis, Raptor: ALL Tallest and Fastest Coasters of their time and class.  But (being an engineer) I know that certain rides can’t be long (in time) because they are so fast or they are so tall.  The Maverick was great in a lot of categories including length of ride, which is always worth the wait for me.  And it has a 95 degree first drop!!

In Detroit, there was a Techno Music Festival so the traffic was crazy.  We took a walk downtown and got rained on, but it was just great to be with him.  I came back to Indy and officially changed my license and plates over!  I guess I’m official now.  Which it seems like, right now, isn’t too bad of a change.

This post stems from one of my good friends ‘Champagne’ that is an avid follower of this blog.  It talks about girls who “don’t just look like a slightly better version of Precious” that “deal with repeated non-sense from men”.  It is usually due to not thinking they can do any better or they just aren’t sure of their full potential.

Champagne is a really beautiful girl that has admitted [but still doesn't quite believe] that she is worth the best and still doesn’t know “whats the best she can do” in terms of guys.  To me, the best is different for everyone.  My personal best is a guy that makes me happy, makes me laugh, supports me, and can tolerate my mood swings.  The things that are probably best for her seem to more deal with stability and dedication and really following through with what they say.  Guys dealing with her need to know that she has dealt too much with guys that don’t realize her value and often want to leave her on deck while there is another batter that may get a home run or strike out.  The home run will finish the game, which will be great for the guy.  On the other hand, the strike out may give her the chance to bat, or it may just end the inning and she’ll never get her chance.

Champagne is finally at the point where she knows that it’s not okay for a guy to just leave her hanging, but she’s still not sure on what type of guy to wait for or with which guy to continue dealing.  According to her, today is the day that she will no longer have Ugly Girl Problemsand finally start moving on when a guy presents BS.  Good luck Champange!  It is now written in my blog to mark this date, June 2, 2010.

As you know, I have a puppy Cooli O..  He’s 14 weeks old and just had his big boy “Dog Package” shots 2 days ago.  So now he is good for the next year.  Along with his shots, he got his first nail trim (praise) because those nails were sharp!  I was trying to wait until he had all of his shots before I just took him to the groomer where there are a bunch of nasties floating around.  He was really good the whole time we were in the store and he was WAAAY too friendly with EVERYONE, but I guess that’s a good and bad thing.

I got him at 9 weeks old from a breeder in Angola, IN about 2 hours north of Indy.  They were really nice and have been breeding for years and were really professional.  This little boy was really bad on the way back and just wanted to walk around the whole car and cry because he didn’t know where he was, or where he was going.  That was the Longest 2 hour ride until he fell asleep at my feet for about the last 45 minutes.

Day 1: I tried to make him sleep in his crate after reading multiple blogs and tips online, but he was not having it.  I ended up letting him sleep with me and he loved that, and would even put his little head on the pillow with me.

Day 2: We had to quit that and that was when i started to realize that he would cry/whine himself to sleep for about 20 minutes +/- 5.

Week 1: We just played a lot and I kept trying to clicker train him and just get him used to the place.  He peed everywhere!  There are set times that you should take them out to pee, but he took naps so frequently that it became inconvenient.  Luckily, he was already good on doing #2 in the grass and not in the house.

Week 2: Corbin came down and they hung out during the day with some training.  Corbin was not a fan of waking up in the middle of the night.  Well actually, he didn’t wake up at all until I started nudging him!  It was also his first bath and first trip to the doctor (6 lbs).  He tried jumping out of the tub a lot and looked so cute and skinny, lol.

Weekend 2: I went home and my parents met Cooli as a surprise.  My brother took care of him during the night and Early morning trips outside.  My parents ended up really liking him.

Week 3: He’s improving in the house-training and I stopped going home to check on him during lunch.  At first he would go on his pee-pads, but then would hold it until I got home.  He would also ‘sit’ on command and ‘stay’ at the door before I would let him back inside.

Week 4: He like to bite and gnaw at anything!  My shag rug is his favorite, but he loves hands and pants too.  I had to start popping him to let him know that I was in control.  He usually sleeps through the night.

Week 5: Second doctor’s visit (9 lbs) to get shots and nails groomed.  He hated the feeling of the PediPaws so they just clipped them.  I guess I don’t take him outside enough, but he doesn’t really bark to let me know he needs to go out.  We’ve had 2 poop accidents inside.  He also started humping my leg, ehh

I’m taking him back home on the road again and might send him to a daycare or boarding place.  My baby is really growing up!!

So, the concert last night was BOMB!  I was going with a little doubt because I was never an avid listener/cd-buyer for either one.  However, daddy did have the Urban Hang Suite and I used to jam out in middle school, lol.  Luckily, he did oodles of songs from that cd!  I was almost able to hang in there with my girl Ashley and she’s the BIGGEST Maxwell fan that I know (I’m talking 3 concerts in < 1 year).  Fyi, he looked amazing!  The day before was his birthday and he admitted that he was a little hungover, but it was GREAT!  I really like that it seemed like the concert was different every night depending on how he was feeling and he just directed the fabulous band to go wherever he went.

Jill Scott was also great and opened up for Maxwell.  I knew a lot more of her jams than I thought too!  However, I have been studying for like the past month on Pandora and with some songs that I’ve had.  Even if I didn’t know all the words, I really loved the band and the dancers that Jill had doing background silhouettes.

There was also a lot of people-watching afterwards, which is often the best part of the entire experience.  People were buying posters, t-shirts and getting their picture taken with the airbrushed version of Maxwell– “If you like how you look, get your picture TOOK”.

All in all, oodles of fun and I might have to catch the next go-round!