Blandysauce Weekend

The weekend was extra bland this time #fooledme.  The highlights of the weekend were going to church, doing my hair, and getting my cable wire fixed.  Yay O_o womp.

Since I’ve moved to Indy, I’ve gone to a total of 5 different churches: Emmanuel Missionary Baptist Church, Eastern Star Church-Main Campus, Eastern Star Church-Northeast Campus, Phillips Temple CME Church,  and St. Luke Baptist Church.  Eastern Star is the mega church of Indy that is working on its 4th location.  And the pastor goes to all 3– 8:30am at Main Campus, 9:30am at Northeast, 10:45am at Northwest, and back to the Main Campus for noon service.  I have no clue how he does it all, but it just seems pretty ridiculous to me.  He just pops in for the sermon and dips out right after to head to the next location.  One of my girls, a native Hoosier was brought up in Phillips Temple.  It was my first time going to a CME church.  Nothing was too different from normal, I just didn’t feel like I belonged there.  Emmanuel is the first church I went to out here and has stuck as my favorite.  Initially, my coworker invited me to tutor after work with her and then I was convinced to stay for bible study, and then I was invited to come to Sunday service.  I really enjoy the pastor and the casual vibe, but they are on their job of helping the community.  They even started a partnership with NASA and I’m all for it!  Yesterday, I was intending to go to EMBC and when I get there at 10:30am, nobody was in the parking lot <I figured they went to another location or were having a special service> so I went right down the street to Eastern Star to find out they didn’t start service until noon.  Between the two is St. Luke Baptist Church that had a marquee to celebrate the 27th pastoral anniversary.  I knew this meant  a long service, but it started at 10 so I parked and went in.  Of course, I was right and they had a guest preacher so I had to dip out when they were giving more gifts to the pastor and first lady.  I may come back another Sunday to hear the preacher, who can allegedly sang very well.

Also, this weekend I spent all day Saturday doing my hair in a full sew-in weave.  I’ve never worn my hair this long, but I wanted a different look.  It took the most time to do the closure so that it looked somewhat real.  I combined a regular closure method with a sew-in invisible part method because I am not for glue in my hair.  It took extremely long to close the weave and make it look okay.  I took it down 3 times before it was tolerable.  I may take it down and redo it one last time before the weekend.  It really just take practice.

During this hair stuff, I had to track down the cable man to freggin fix my cable cord that Cooli O. just decided to eat one day.  That same day, he ate my window blinds, and eyeglasses.  I found the lens on the ground and he found my hand on his rump!  The cable would go out whenever anybody would go by the cord, which is right next to the door.  And it also affected the internet.  Good thing I had some dvds on deck that I needed to watch.  I watched Following (by the writer of Inception), The Final Cut with Robin Williams, Adaptation with Nicolas Cage and School Daze A Spike Lee Joint that was spoofed by Alicia Keys.  Oh yeah, Friday I also went back to Morty’s and saw the comedian Mike Britt.  I really love it when comedians can freestyle based on the audience like he did.  All in all, it was a pretty bland weekend, but I made it sound somewhat fun, huh?

Random Link of the Day: Download my boy’s CD for free!

One Year Since Graduation

 

To be clear, it has been 1 year today August 18, 2009 that I officially graduated from the University of Michigan.  I walked across the stage December 14, 2008.  I knew that I was going to study abroad in Hong Kong for my final semester and knew that I would not being back for the Spring graduation.  Upon returning, I took one final math class that summer to complete my Aerospace Engineering degree and minor in Mathematics.  It also gave enough time for HKUST to transfer my credits back and put them on my transcript.

When I was first thinking about this blog I was a little nervous because it almost seemed like I haven’t done much in a year.  Most of it was composed of moving to Indianapolis, which is a big feat in itself since I didn’t know ANYONE here.  But I’ve done that before with living in Cincinnati OH, Greenville SC, San Diego CA, and Hong Kong, but it is definitely scary at first and I always have a taste of regret during the first week.

One huge thing that I am happy about is that my 2 best friends are STILL my 2 best friends!  We frequently communicate with each other although we all live in different locations.  I also must say that I have made 23 look graceful ::pats self on back::  I still love to change up my hairstyles.  This was shown by me doing my big chop right before my last final exam!  I never thought that I’d go natural, but moving away from your hairdresser is a good incentive.

Being in a relationship, I sacrificed a lot of myself and that has taught me the biggest lesson of the year: Do not lose sight of myself and my gifts.  I have found a church that I enjoy, and God aligned it so that I can tutor there.  The kids are all really great and range from about 4 years old to seniors in high school.  I think I was put on this earth to share my blessing of understanding math to anyone that finds it difficult and frustrating.  I plan to continue doing this, but possibly on a larger scale in the future.  I still dance and even made it to the semi-finals to be an Indianapolis Colts cheerleader.  Of course, I can’t forget about Cooli.  He gives me reason to enjoy going home everyday and it has been a great decision to be a mommy of a puppy. 🙂

 

I’ve also done two things that I’ve always wanted to do: Walk in the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Walk, and go to New York City!  I have wanted to do the breast cancer walk since I was in college in honor of my mother who test after test finds benign cists.  It scares us every time and I can imagine how many have gone through the same experience ending with a different result.  New York was even more than I have ever imagined.  I love it, but I could never live there.  Over this next year, I plan to continue my mental growth by learning Spanish and taking Yoga.  I am also become more conservative with my body in regards to nutrition.  My long term goal is to compete in a half-marathon! Wish me luck 😀

Random Link of the Day: You aren’t a real model

My girls are the best!

2 things

1. I’m single again, doosh.

2. I love my friends.

I have a couple blog posts that I’m working on, but this one is specifically for those that I love for many-a reasons, but the main ones are:

They always share their feelings for me, but don’t share their opinions.  This is my favorite.  They let me know how much they love seeing me happy and want everything around me to encourage that.  However, they never put anyone down or talked me out of what I thought was right.

They are always standing with open arms even after I leave them stranded.  I can not talk to them for months, but as long as the number hasn’t changed I can always call when I’m ready.

I can do everything that I love doing with them.  Dancing, Sports, Laughing, Travelling, People-watching and Game Shows make me feel the happiest.

They don’t just support me, they encourage me.  It would be kind of awful for someone to agree with everything that I said.  Instead of only supporting me and my beliefs, they urge me to take my dreams to the next level.

We get down on the dance floor!  I’m so glad that all of my friends have rhythm and get jiggy with me.  It can be from ballrooming, to stepping, to 1-2 stepping, to the windows, to the wall.

I love you all and appreciate each day for all that you ladies have done to encourage me to get through this.

Random Link of the Day: Get ready to cry

Corbin’s Bday Weekend

Of course it was another great weekend with my boyfriend except this one was extra special because his birthday is next week, but I won’t be able to be with him… So, we celebrated this weekend (when his boyz wouldn’t be able to take him away).  Friday night when I arrived, I gave him a golf-inspired greeting card and a golf glove (and popcorn, he just loves popcorn).  We then went to Hooters (delishis wings) and the movies to see Inception.  The movie was fantastic.  I’m really into learning about the human mind and how people put mind over matter, especially in ways that are perceived as negative or giving them a disorder.  Other movies that do this is are Shutter Island (also staring Leo) and Identity.

Saturday morning, I gave him a baseball-inspired card where the punchline was “chalk up another one” as the guy on the front of the card was chalking the baseball diamond.  Attached to the card were 2 baseball tickets to see the Detroit Tigers that night.  He had been talking about going to a game all season (and even made it his facebook status, lol).  The Tigers ended up losing the game, but it was really worth staying through the end.  That was my first time in Comerica Park.  It was quite different from the Indianapolis Indians’.  It was huge and a lot more people.  Earlier in the day we made a random stop at Pizza Kitchen while on our way to Hood-Mart (the rat-tastic WalMart).  He later made me a Salmon feast before the game!  🙂

Sunday, we were going to go golfing at 8am, but it was still raining/wet, so we just went to breakfast.  Before church, I gave him a third card with fortune cookies on it.  It’s an inside joke and I wanted to throw him off the scent for the big gift.  I got him a watch to replace his that got “mysteriously lost” in the mail.  [After he left it in Indy, I mailed it to him and our thought is that it was stolen along the route, O_o.]  He loved it!  We then trotted happily to church.  We visited Second Ebenezer Church at the 10am service.  We didn’t get there until 10:45ish, just in time for the A&B selections.  The sermon was really good by Bishop Vann (although more drawn out than it should have been) and he was finished by noon!  Oh, until… he did the call to worship and wouldn’t stop calling, nor singing until 25 people (and counted them) came to the alter to give their lives to Christ.  I’m not sure if he ever made 25, but it was 17 when I stopped listening.  He then had 3 people in particular tell their stories, at about 10 minutes each.  We were ready to leave as the clock neared 1pm.  He kind of guilt-tripped people into staying saying that this was a test of “spiritual endurance”.  False!!  Right before offering, I left my donation and we dipped!  As the dip was occurring, he also felt the need to shout out “Where yall goin?” in front of a church of at least 1,000 and many more at home or online.  LMAO!!  If we ever go back, it will be for a conference like I had been to previously, but I would recommend to stream that faith so you can leave as you please.

Random Link of the day: http://www.thedirtyartist.com/dirtywomen.html

It’s a family reunion!

My family doesn’t really have family reunions on my dad’s side.  It’s kind of sad because there are 12 siblings.  On my mom’s side, we just happen to reunite if we go visit Alabama at the same time.  My brother and I are going to try to plan one for our dad’s side since we haven’t seen most of our cousins in almost 10 years.  We’re trying to decide if it should be in the location of origin (granddaddy is still in Mississippi) or if it should be where most of the family is (Houston, TX).  We were also considering doing something different and having it during the colder months to let us snowbirds get out of the cold and it will be a time not consumed with summer vacations.

This past weekend, I enjoyed Corbin’s family reunion.  I had already met his parents, brothers,  neices and nephews, and some cousins, but this time I got to meet even more of his cousins.  Everybody was really nice and it was kind of refreshing to see them all enjoying each others’ company.

Friday, we went bowling and back to his parents’ house for convo, fish and shrimp (fantastic), and bones (dominoes).  Saturday morning, I had breakfast and went shopping with his aunt and cousin in Frankenmuth while the boys went golfing.  Then, we went to the cookout where all of the little kids LOVED Cooli and kept picking him up, but he never nipped at anyone.  He just gave me the sad face like “mom, help”.  Then, we drove back to Detroit and rode on the Detroit Princess with his cousins and brother.  There are 3 levels of seating and dance floors.  It was nice, but the music was just not doing it for me.  I had more fun just out on the deck talking with Corbin.  Then, all of us flocked to MGM Grand Casino to “make some money back”.  We had some success and just went home.

Sunday, we didn’t wake up until about 2pm, smh.  We ran to Corbin’s Favorite restaurant, The Clique before his review session.  I caught up a little with my brother and he told me about his sky diving experience, and the movie Jesus Camp and recommended a few others.  I then drove back home and stopped by Steak ‘n Shake where I was so into the fantasticity of the Banana Split Milkshake and all of its 435 Calories that I missed my exit on the freeway!!  That was a great way to finish off the great weekend I had with the new fam?.

Green Light

Everything is back right with the world!  I’m going to Charlotte this weekend to check out the scene and see if that’s a place I could actually see myself living.  I already know I should have been born a Cali girl, but I’m willing to compromise.  Corbin and I will be celebrating the 4th of July down there with his best friend and other friends.  I’ll tell the actual events that happened instead of what I plan to do.  <But I’m really excited for this trip to the beach!!>

Depression has concluded and everything is great again.  One factor was the relationship, which has been resolved!  As promised I did start reading The 5 Love Languages and boy o’ boy was it on point!  Before I did that, I took the online assessment to truly know what my language was [Words of Affirmation, Quality Time (close second)] and I had Corbin do the same [Quality Time].  I bought the book and a cheap journal so that I could keep notes on key quotes and definitions that may be helpful later.  Following that, I discussed a few key points with him.  We ended up having a great conversation on what I read.  It made us understand each other and our needs a lot better.  Our time on the phone (since long distance) is important to him, and our time together is exponentially more important.  The words that he says (or doesn’t say) are important to me and should be chosen carefully (especially in an argument).  Things seem so much clearer, but time will tell.

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Some of the notes were:

It is okay for a couple to have different native love languages, but as long as you know what your mate’s languages is and can speak it, things will be okay.

Different love languages require different needs.  When Christmas comes around, you can’t give a Words of Affirmation person the same gift that you would give a Receiving Gifts person.  RG may only want the biggest and best gift because that is how they value their worth and your relationship, while WoA may be okay with a card that has a hand-written letter.  Personally, I’m great with a hand-written letter (WoA) and a date at a restaurant or the movies (QT).

You have to fill up their love tank with their currency.  The same currency won’t work for everyone.  When both of your tanks are filled, things will be much easier and much happier.

There is a “Love Obsession” phase which all couples go through that is approximately 2 years.  During this time, everything is great and you are both floating on air.  This is the time when most people get engaged, or married, or move in together.  After that phase is over, you have to really start speaking the correct love language or one or both of your love tanks will be on E.  This is the time when most couples divorce!

{The other two languages are: Physical Touch-physical presence and accessibility, hugs, holding hands, etc.;  Acts of Service-ease the burden of responsibilities, cleaning the house, etc.}

Sadface

I’ve been going on this like 7-day depression<–>euphoric cycle.  It has been awful.  I realized that Coke and other caffeinated drinks taste good, but make me crash like crazy.  It puts me in like a time warp where I am just dazed for a good 5 minute stretch.  That also happens during my 4 hour drives home, which is definitely not a good thing.  Also, I stopped taking my allergy pills because they make my patience quite thin thus making me quite mean to other people.

All that aside, I just haven’t been feeling the best.  My boyfriend and I keep going through crazy good<–>bad cycles and it would be great if we just went back to the constant good we had.  Being at work for 9 hours gets me a little bummed at different times.  There has also been some drama there (on more than one occasion) where people just don’t have the ability to have personal conversations with others.  If I’m doing something out of the ordinary, tell me, not others.   I’ve been feeling the need for a good cry, but just haven’t given myself the opportunity.  The up-swing of things happened when I just talked to my girls on the phone or hung out with them.  They make me laugh and they are very motivational to themselves and with me.

Something has got to change.  I plan to start reading a lot more!  I have to read one book for work.  My friend has referred The Five Love Languages.  I also plan to read my bible or have a good old-fashioned on the knee prayer time.  I think I might actually unplug my TV so I can just focus and think about me.  I’ll give updates, wish me luck!

Multiple– Jobs, Personalities, Lives

One of my old friends hasn’t really changed his life much at all.  In the past year, he has had 6 different jobs, is in a relationship that he doesn’t enjoy, and has continued to use “illegal substances” for years.  But this post is mainly about the mindset of inconsistency by having 6 different jobs in 1 year.  I also know another guy whose goal is to have 5 different sources of income.  I think that would be fine if those things were already set up and you just had money coming in, but when you actually have to spend your time working this worthless jobs, is it really the quantity or the quality that matters?  The jobs have varied from being a painter, to a photographer, to a party promoter, to a software salesman.

Along with these jobs, comes different environments and different personalities to best suit that environment (party promoter vs. software salesman).  All of their jobs have been the quickest way to get money at the time.  But they are all only good for that one shot and then you have to grind for they next smedium payoff.  After all that foolishness, you have no free-time for yourself and you are completely full of inconsistency.

How they both have girlfriends is beyond me because it seems like their girlfriend wouldn’t know which personality to love.  But, I believe that they attracted their ladies by being so diverse that eventually she would find one of his traits that she would really love.  Both guys are so confident in their appearance and feel that any woman would want them for what they one day will become.  A confident and goal-oriented man is attractive, but when you don’t believe them, it ruins your thoughts of them.  You can believe IN them and help them to get to their goals, but when you never quite believe THEM-that they will succeed because there is a lack of focus, that can cloud a lot of the relationship. 

Granted, I’ve tried out a lot of things in the past year: NFL cheerleader audition, online/phone recuriting, and working at a retail store while having a full-time job.  However, the recruiting was dropped when I did not see any benefits; my mindset was not on the money earned, but it was on the money saved by my employee discount, and meeting lots of people in the new city.  Having many jobs, many friends, many personalities is okay, you just have to understand your focus.  Make sure that it is for your interest and benefit and do not let the focus be the next best way to make a dollar.

Ugly Girl Problems

This post stems from one of my good friends ‘Champagne’ that is an avid follower of this blog.  It talks about girls who “don’t just look like a slightly better version of Precious” that “deal with repeated non-sense from men”.  It is usually due to not thinking they can do any better or they just aren’t sure of their full potential.

Champagne is a really beautiful girl that has admitted [but still doesn’t quite believe] that she is worth the best and still doesn’t know “whats the best she can do” in terms of guys.  To me, the best is different for everyone.  My personal best is a guy that makes me happy, makes me laugh, supports me, and can tolerate my mood swings.  The things that are probably best for her seem to more deal with stability and dedication and really following through with what they say.  Guys dealing with her need to know that she has dealt too much with guys that don’t realize her value and often want to leave her on deck while there is another batter that may get a home run or strike out.  The home run will finish the game, which will be great for the guy.  On the other hand, the strike out may give her the chance to bat, or it may just end the inning and she’ll never get her chance.

Champagne is finally at the point where she knows that it’s not okay for a guy to just leave her hanging, but she’s still not sure on what type of guy to wait for or with which guy to continue dealing.  According to her, today is the day that she will no longer have Ugly Girl Problemsand finally start moving on when a guy presents BS.  Good luck Champange!  It is now written in my blog to mark this date, June 2, 2010.