Green Light
Everything is back right with the world! I’m going to Charlotte this weekend to check out the scene and see if that’s a place I could actually see myself living. I already know I should have been born a Cali girl, but I’m willing to compromise. Corbin and I will be celebrating the 4th of July down there with his best friend and other friends. I’ll tell the actual events that happened instead of what I plan to do. <But I’m really excited for this trip to the beach!!>
Depression has concluded and everything is great again. One factor was the relationship, which has been resolved! As promised I did start reading The 5 Love Languages and boy o’ boy was it on point! Before I did that, I took the online assessment to truly know what my language was [Words of Affirmation, Quality Time (close second)] and I had Corbin do the same [Quality Time]. I bought the book and a cheap journal so that I could keep notes on key quotes and definitions that may be helpful later. Following that, I discussed a few key points with him. We ended up having a great conversation on what I read. It made us understand each other and our needs a lot better. Our time on the phone (since long distance) is important to him, and our time together is exponentially more important. The words that he says (or doesn’t say) are important to me and should be chosen carefully (especially in an argument). Things seem so much clearer, but time will tell.
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Some of the notes were:
It is okay for a couple to have different native love languages, but as long as you know what your mate’s languages is and can speak it, things will be okay.
Different love languages require different needs. When Christmas comes around, you can’t give a Words of Affirmation person the same gift that you would give a Receiving Gifts person. RG may only want the biggest and best gift because that is how they value their worth and your relationship, while WoA may be okay with a card that has a hand-written letter. Personally, I’m great with a hand-written letter (WoA) and a date at a restaurant or the movies (QT).
You have to fill up their love tank with their currency. The same currency won’t work for everyone. When both of your tanks are filled, things will be much easier and much happier.
There is a “Love Obsession” phase which all couples go through that is approximately 2 years. During this time, everything is great and you are both floating on air. This is the time when most people get engaged, or married, or move in together. After that phase is over, you have to really start speaking the correct love language or one or both of your love tanks will be on E. This is the time when most couples divorce!
{The other two languages are: Physical Touch-physical presence and accessibility, hugs, holding hands, etc.; Acts of Service-ease the burden of responsibilities, cleaning the house, etc.}