I’m done, already
So why does my whole department think that when I say I have ‘two weeks left’ they think it means I have two working weeks left. Come on people no one ever does stuff their last week. If I weren’t an intern I probably would have had oodles and oodles of vacation time to take. And you know when people take it? The last week of work. I still have to find the most concise and direct way to say that I’m going on the Price is Right next week and I’m gonna win tons-o-money or even ‘a neeeeww carrrr’. I guess I don’t really need a new car though. That’s the thing, why do places always give you free upgrades and whatnot, exactly when you don’t need them? For example, when the phone company gives you a free upgrade every two years. About one year into it, I decided to upgrade my phone to the beta version (with bluetooth!) . Then, the two year mark rolls around and my daddy being fast decides to get the ‘free upgrade’ (which in itself is an oxymoron; the free one is always suckier than the one you have). So, he gets that and about 2 months later my beta version is broken (internally, so not my fault) and I wanna get rid of it to get a new fancy phone with a keyboard. But noooooo sucky phone has replaced offsetting like half the price of the upgrade. Now I’m stuck with a refurbished beta 
Anyway, bottom line, I’m not supposed to do work next week so stop giving me new projects as this week comes to a close! (kind of too long of a sentence to put an exclamation, where would the emphasis go? it’s kinda hard to build up the volume and intensity when it’s a full sentence)